My Baggage Is Heavy Too

So, I’m joining these communities, following and being followed, planning, researching….but what I’m finding is real…real people…real good advice, thought provoking forums, shared dreams and more.

Definitely a place for a brink…on the brink of something for sure.

I came across this blog this morning on http://iheartpurplestuff.blogspot.com.  At first I noticed that it just looked pretty and then there is this lady on a couch in a garden and I thought I want to be her and then I looked through her blog and found a posting and realized…Once upon a short time ago I was her.

Here is the posting in purple:

a bit of small talk

A friend comes up and says: Hi, how are you? What have you been up to lately?
I say: Fine, great, or could be better (depends on what happened during the last 12 hours). I talk about school, my writing, my children.
Super common conversation, right? 

This is what I would reply if I could:

I have been trying to find my wings and words and my happy self and don't quite know how to go about it. Do you know where they went off to?

There is so much to say everyday and things just get too complicated. Not everyone can, should, or wants to deal with it when life has baggage too heavy to haul around by yourself. I am feeling like I am unclaimed baggage and there is no rightful owner. I know it is an insanely random rambling, but I needed to just get it all out... 

I immediately wanted to comment…me too…me too.  Then as I sat here and typed all this out, I began to realize that the best way to tell her that I too share and feel what it was that you felt when you blogged that day, was to celebrate her bravery for saying it and let her know that she’s not alone.  I hope she appreciates this cause here it goes….

I know exactly how this feels.  In fact when I felt this way it became painful to hear people ask...How are you?  In fact people really mean to just say Hi, or Hello.

There were days I felt that somehow someday I would get my wings and they would be the prettiest wings one ever did see.  They would span out further and shine brighter than the north star and there would be someone standing there to help me put them on, who would say all the right things.  Matter of fact they would say….It all means something …nothing is meaningless and it’s all worthwhile when it’s over.

What I was going through was more than anyone deals with in any reasonable time frame (or so it felt).  The loss of my home, lawsuit with Home Depot and Kraftmaid, failing marriage, unreasonable and unethical business partner and two kids 20 months apart and at least one with ADHD.

It does get better …it really really does!  So, if you care about people…maybe someday take the time to grab a cart for someone…that baggage gets really heavy.